I do feel a bit better but I more feel SUPER challenged. Our Gracious, Compassionate, Loving Father is so incredibly good to stop us when He knows we need it. These last few months I have gotten humbled, lovingly rebuked and sweetly cared for as I have let go and let God take the reigns once again. I have had the challenge of laying down a lot of the things that I would single-handedly undertake to using my time in a more intentional way.
Ugh. Control is an ugly and subtle thing. I don't know when I took the word of the Lord and decided that it was my job to do it all. All I know is that whenever that happened, what I found my heart was REALLY saying was "I don't trust you Lord to complete the work you've spoken into being". In the midst of it, my pride continued to push its way in and justify it all BUT God in all of His incredible Glory helps us to recognize these ugly things and cut it off.
And its AMAZING what things you hear as you begin to walk in freedom... I really had a sense that he was speaking: RESTORE, RECRUIT, REBOOT.
RESTORE: I/we have intentionally placed ourselves in a position to be restored right now. As we have slowed things down a bit, God has been so good to provide encouragement and refreshment in bits and pieces. For example, we were just at our annual YWAM Bay Area Staff Retreat and were prayed for and loved on. It was very refreshing. We know that we need a continued Spiritual, physical, marriage, family, and financial restoration... especially in this season.
Luke and I are still holding on to the possibility of us two being released to go to Australia next week. We still need to see some significant financing to come in for that. However, we do have the kids looked after and accommodation sorted which were 2 big things to organize.
RECRUIT: We have also talked about gathering LEADERS around us to help us out. So we will spend some time recruiting as we plan a bit of a full-reboot in the spring.
REBOOT: We are currently inviting people back sometime in the spring to help us get ready for the next DTS and help develop Youth Street. We are already seeing the Lord orchestrate some conversations with solid people.
If you would have asked me about slowing things down 7 or 8 months ago I would have shut you down. In my mind, we just needed a bit of elbow grease and pinch of perseverance. However, NOW as a beautifully broken person, I am happily welcoming the Holy Spirit restore my Spirit. My hope and intention is to walk into this next season in His Spirit. This ministry is God’s baby. It always has been. I don’t need to take control. He is in control. I just need to move in conviction as He speaks... and right now, that is to be restored.
If you are tired today... if you are discouraged... find that place, that special place where you can just spend time with Him. Logically it may feel counterproductive but when your Spirit is ignited with the passion and love of Jesus... IT RESTORES YOUR SOUL and you will move mountains! Go be with Him today.